I recently learned

1.  Neutral ground for playdates is a really really good idea (and kids personal bedrooms are a bad space for learning how to share.)

2.  You can find lots of clothes for 3 year old girls at thrift/consignment stores easily, but 5 year old boy clothing in good condition is a rare treasure.

3.  L and I have very similar taste in clothing.  She went through the shopping bag when we arrived home and picked out the two items I liked best and then demanded to try them on.

4.  Even if it is the first day of sun and temps over fifty in months I will still get badly sunburnt in two hours (but my kids won't.)

5.  Navigating the muddy waters of independence, cooperation and grace when things aren't the way you'd like is hard at 4 and still almost as hard at 30.

6.  Computer game play is the only thing that will motivate G enough to actually poop on the toilet.  Candy, toys, stickers, charts, praise, pleading and stories are not it.

7.  It bothers me to hear someone use the word mainstream as a verb and specifically when it is their biggest goal for my child's educational future.

8.  Food, games and activities are all much more appealing to 2 and 4 year olds when offered by peers and siblings than pesky adults.

9.  The dog will actually eat a cigarette butt if we try to make him spit it out.  Ugh!

10.  G has developed an interest in the notion of a secret formula.  (Where does he get this stuff?!)  He named one of his animal creations Secret Formula and made sure his dad typed it out right for him.

loud, crazy fun at the farm

We took an evening this weekend and went to a nearby farm.  It was a lot of fun.  It's a historic farm with lots of animals, old buildings to explore (many have been restored now) and various treasures to find hidden in the corners.  We did have to watch out for a few angry geese, but all the other animals were friendly and well behaved.

G's favorite parts of the trip were climbing on the antique tractors they have stationed around the barns and twiddling with knobs (which happily do nothing these days) and cockadoodle-dooing back and forth with a rooster in a nearby tree.  G let out a cockadoodle and then listened for the rooster to answer.  If there was silence, he turned to me to ask "Rooster do it again Mama?  Cockadoodle-doo again?"


L's favorite highlights were the loud noises of the sheep with small lambs as they called to eachother and sticking her nose right next to the rabbit hutches so she could announce if the rabbit in that house was a "biiig" rabbit or a "smaaaaaall" rabbit.

My favorite parts were the kids' enthusiasm as they ran all over excitedly and seeing a bit of sunshine.

half full

I've been wrestling with questions here.  Too many questions, not enough answers and an overall lack of good strong, appealing options to choose.  The lesser of two evils... why is that a choice I have to make for my kid?  Ugh.  And then I have to wonder, what if the amount of evil is less but the damage done by that particular evil is more intense.  The knots in my stomach are practically braiding themselves.

I've been thinking about Kindergarten.  Not for me, for the little guy, G.  The way things are set up, Kindergarten placement is in black and white.  Regular Education and Special Education.  I had been obsessing over hoping that G would be accepted into the charter program called Open Classroom where they encourage parent involvement and participation as well as different approaches to learning in general.  But we got a letter saying Nope! this past weekend, so I'm back to mulling over our limited options and researching the earliest date to reapply to Open Classroom for 1st grade.

What do I do when there is no good choice for my kid?  How can I reconcile with that?  I want things to be right, not bad or mediocre, not maybe, possibly pleaseGodpleaseGod okay.  If it was just me, it wouldn't be so huge, but this is my baby, who I treasure above all else and who I want to see shine to the best of his ability.  I'm thinking: It's the beginning of his education.  Everything rests on the next few years, right?  And then I realized that just because we think of school as the only place to learn, it doesn't mean that's accurate.  G has done most of his learning at home, the fun stuff like animal noises and strange fish anatomy as well as the really hard trudges through frustrating and confusing concepts like asking permission (how and when), the idea that not making a choice is still a choice with consequences, and that sometimes your favorite shirt is dirty and therefore unwearable.  School can be the extra, the addition to what we do at home.  That will work for us.  And if I need to show up frequently at school so that I can make sure things are going well and I know what's happening in the classroom bring by fresh baked cookies and craft supplies I found in the cupboard at home, I will.

I know I am an idealist in life and certainly as a mom.  It's not a bad thing, even though it can be frustrating.  It keeps me wishing and hoping and looking and adjusting my perspective.  Oh, how I wish that so many things weren't painted in black and white.  Would it be so hard to have integrated, combined kinds of education continue throughout elementary schools?  Why can't there be more alternative options.... homeschool groups that aren't formed based on religious beliefs, other public charter options, more different kinds of classrooms with different approaches?  Why is it a choice between not enough help and not enough challenge?  

G will keep learning and growing and charming the flowers out of the ground, just like he always has, and I will keep learning how to be as graceful as possible in the alien landscape of parenthood.